You know some gay slang, right? Some phrases are not even slang because they're so widely used. The word "queer" was a slang, and it was derogatory until years ago. But now we're proud to be queer. Queer means fabulous. Someone who's not queer is boring - that's what we think, at least.
The Lexicon of Queer Love: Common Terms in Gay Slang
Drag culture has shaped modern gay slang for sure, thanks to the popularity of drag performances and media such as RuPaul's Drag Race. Phrases such as "shade", "read", "serving" are some of them. (More later)
Whereas various subcultures have developed their own slang to describe identities, e.g. "bear', "cub", "otter", and "wolf" in the bear community. Leather and BDSM communities created "dom", "sub", "switch" and all. (More about them later too.)
I have carefully selected terms that are widely recognized and generally not offensive within the queer circle.
- Baby Dyke: A young or newly out lesbian who is just beginning to explore her sexual orientation.
- Banjee: A gay person, typically a man, who adopts a tough, street-smart, and urban persona, often associated with hip-hop culture.
- Bathhouse: A venue where men can meet and engage in sexual activities, often including amenities like saunas and hot tubs.
- Bear Cub: Similar to a cub, but often younger and not necessarily hairy.
- Bear Flag: The flag representing the bear subculture within the LGBTQ+ community, featuring stripes of different colors symbolizing various hair colors and the bear community's diversity.
- Bear Run: An event or gathering specifically for bears and their admirers, often featuring social activities, parties, and competitions.
- Bear Trap: A situation or event designed to attract bears, or a place where bears are known to gather.
- Beard: A person who dates or marries someone of the opposite sex to provide cover for their true sexual orientation.
- Bicurious: Someone who is open to or curious about having sexual experiences with both men and women.
- Binder: A garment worn to flatten the chest, often used by transgender men and non-binary people.
- Bio Queen: A cisgender woman who performs as a drag queen, embracing exaggerated feminine drag.
- Boi: A young transgender man or masculine-presenting person; sometimes used by younger lesbians.
- Bromo: A portmanteau of "bro" and "homo," referring to a gay man who embraces a traditionally masculine, "bro" persona.
- Butch: A lesbian or gay man who presents themselves in a traditionally masculine way, often through their behavior, clothing, and mannerisms.
- Chemsex: Sexual activity engaged in while under the influence of drugs, often associated with particular subcultures within the gay community.
- Chub: A larger, often overweight gay man. This term is used affectionately within the gay community.
- Circuit Party: Large dance parties or events that cater to the gay male community, often featuring famous DJs and lasting several days.
- Cishet: Short for cisgender and heterosexual, referring to a person whose gender identity matches their sex assigned at birth and who is attracted to the opposite sex.
- Claw: A term used within the leather and kink communities, often referring to gatherings, events, or certain roles.
- Closet Case: A person who is gay but has not come out of the closet; they are still hiding their sexual orientation from others.
- Closet: The metaphorical space where LGBTQ+ people hide their true sexual orientation or gender identity before coming out.
- Cruising: Searching for casual sex partners, typically in public places like parks or restrooms.
- Cub: A younger or smaller version of a bear, often chubby and hairy. Cubs are typically considered to be on their way to becoming bears as they age.
- Demisexual: A person who experiences sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional connection with someone.
- Discreet: A person who is gay but keeps their sexual orientation private, often used in dating app profiles.
- Down Low (DL): Refers to men who secretly have sex with other men while presenting as straight and maintaining heterosexual relationships.
- Drag Ball: An event or competition where participants, often from the drag and ballroom communities, compete in various categories like dance, fashion, and voguing.
- Drag Daughter: A less experienced drag queen who is mentored by a drag mother.
- Drag King: A performer, often a lesbian, who dresses in men's clothing and embodies male gender roles for entertainment.
- Drag Mother: An experienced drag queen who mentors a less experienced drag queen, often seen as a maternal figure in the drag community.
- Egg: A transgender person who has not yet realized or come out as transgender.
- Enby: Short for non-binary, a person whose gender identity does not fit within the traditional binary of male or female.
- Fairy: An older term used to describe an effeminate gay man. It can be seen as offensive if used derogatorily.
- Femme: A lesbian or gay man who presents themselves in a traditionally feminine way. This term is often used in contrast to "butch."
- Fish: A term used in the drag community to describe a drag queen who looks very feminine or convincingly like a biological woman.
- Friend of Bill: A term referring to someone who is part of Alcoholics Anonymous, used within the gay community for gay AA members.
- Friend of Dorothy: A historical euphemism for a gay man, referencing the character Dorothy from "The Wizard of Oz," who is considered an ally and icon within the gay community.
- Fruit Fly: A woman who has many gay male friends, similar to a "fag hag."
- Fruit: A playful or sometimes derogatory term for a gay person, based on the association of fruit with sweetness and perceived femininity.
- Gaydar: The intuitive ability to identify other LGBTQ+ people.
- Ginger: A gay person with red hair. This can be used affectionately or humorously.
- Glitter: Often used to refer to something fabulous, shiny, or sparkling, associated with the flamboyance of gay culture.
- Gold Star: A lesbian who has never had sex with a man.
- Goldfish: A gay person who has a short memory, particularly when it comes to romantic or sexual encounters.
- Goldilocks: A gay man who prefers partners who are "just right" – not too young, not too old, not too hairy, not too smooth.
- Grey-A: Short for grey-asexual, describing someone who identifies between asexual and sexual, experiencing occasional sexual attraction.
- Guncle: Short for gay uncle, often referring to a gay man who is a fun and influential uncle to his nieces and nephews.
- Gurl: A term of endearment or address among gay men, often used playfully.
- Gurlfren: A playful term of endearment between gay men, akin to "girlfriend."
- Hankie Code: A color-coded system used in the gay community, especially among those in the BDSM and leather subcultures, to indicate sexual preferences and interests.
- Hard Femme: A person who identifies as femme but also embraces toughness or traditionally masculine traits.
- Himbo: A physically attractive but not necessarily intellectually inclined gay man, similar to the straight term.
- Homo Hop: A style of music and dance associated with LGBTQ+ artists, often blending hip-hop and queer themes.
- House Music: A genre of electronic dance music that has strong ties to LGBTQ+ culture and dance scenes.
- House: A family-like group in the ballroom community, often led by a drag mother or father, providing support and mentorship.
- Kiki: A term for a social gathering or party, often involving gossip and fun.
- Kweer: An alternative spelling of "queer," emphasizing a reclaiming and rebranding of the term.
- Leather Daddy: A gay man who is part of the leather subculture, which emphasizes leather clothing and accessories as part of sexual and social identity.
- Leather: A term referring to the leather subculture within the gay community, which emphasizes leather clothing, BDSM, and other kink practices.
- Legendary: A term of high praise within the ballroom and drag communities, indicating someone who has made significant contributions or has outstanding talent.
- Lipstick Daddy: A masculine-presenting man who wears makeup, blending traditionally masculine and feminine aesthetics.
- Lumbersexual: A style characterized by plaid shirts, beards, and a rugged, outdoorsy look, often associated with some gay men.
- Masc4Masc: A term used by gay men to describe a preference for masculine-presenting partners.
- Merman: A term used for gay men who are swimmers, divers, or simply love the water and beach life.
- Otter: A man who is slimmer than a bear but still has body hair. Otters may also be more muscular than twinks.
- PFLAG: An acronym for Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, a support group for the loved ones of LGBTQ+ members.
- Platinum Star: A gay man who has never had sex with a woman and was born via C-section, thus never having been "near" a vagina.
- Pocket Gay: A small or short gay man, often used affectionately.
- Polyam: Short for polyamorous, referring to a person who engages in or desires multiple consensual romantic or sexual relationships at the same time.
- Power Bottom: A bottom who takes a more dominant role during sex.
- Pup: A man who is into the puppy play subculture, often involving role-playing as a dog. This can include wearing gear such as collars, masks, and tails.
- QTIP: An acronym for "Queer, Trans, Intersex People," emphasizing inclusivity within the LGBTQ+ spectrum.
- Queen Out: To act in an exaggeratedly effeminate or flamboyant manner.
- Queerdo: A playful term for someone who identifies as queer and embraces a unique, unconventional lifestyle.
- Queerplatonic: Describes a close, non-romantic relationship that goes beyond traditional friendship boundaries, often used within the asexual and aromantic communities.
- Rainbow Family: A term used to describe the LGBTQ+ community as a whole.
- Read: To criticize or insult someone in a pointed, witty, or humorous way, often seen as a form of entertainment or skill within the community.
- Reading: Critiquing someone in a humorous and often harsh manner, similar to "shade" but more direct.
- Rice Queen: A gay man who is primarily attracted to Asian men. This term can be seen as problematic due to its racial implications.
- Sapphic: Referring to women who love women, derived from the poet Sappho of ancient Greece.
- Sashay: To walk or strut in a confident, often exaggerated manner, popularized by drag culture.
- Scissor: A slang term referring to a sexual act between two women where they interlock their legs.
- Service Top: A top who takes pleasure in providing pleasure to their partner.
- Serving Realness: A term used to describe someone who convincingly embodies a certain look or persona, often used in drag and ballroom culture.
- Serving: Performing or presenting oneself in a particularly impressive or stylish manner, as in "serving looks" or "serving face."
- Shade: Subtle insults or disrespect, often delivered in a witty or clever manner.
- Skoliosexual: A person who is attracted to non-binary or genderqueer people.
- Soft Butch: A woman who adopts some traditionally masculine traits but also retains feminine ones.
- Soft Top: A top who is gentle and caring during sex.
- Stealth: A term used by transgender people who live as their true gender without disclosing their transgender status.
- Stone Butch: A lesbian who presents a very masculine appearance and may prefer to give rather than receive sexual pleasure.
- Stone Top: A person who exclusively tops and does not want to be touched during sexual activities.
- Switch Hitter: Someone who is bisexual or pansexual, attracted to people of more than one gender.
- Switch: A person who is versatile in BDSM practices, meaning they are comfortable both dominating and submitting.
- Tea: Slang for gossip or personal information, often used in phrases like "spill the tea" (tell the gossip).
- Tina: Slang for methamphetamine, a drug that has had an impact on parts of the gay community.
- Tomcat: A gay man who is particularly sexually active, often with multiple partners.
- Trade: Refers to a man, often straight-appearing, who engages in casual or anonymous sex with other men. The term can also refer to a sexual encounter or casual hook-up.
- Twisted Sister: A term for a gay man who is particularly flamboyant or over-the-top.
- Twunk: A blend of "twink" and "hunk," referring to a young, muscular gay man who still retains some of the youthful features of a twink.
- U-Haul: A stereotype referring to lesbians who move in together very quickly after beginning a relationship.
- Vajayjay: Slang for vagina, sometimes used humorously or affectionately within the community.
- Versatile (Vers): A person who is comfortable both topping and bottoming in sexual activities.
- Voguing: A highly stylized form of dance that emerged from the ballroom scene, characterized by model-like poses and intricate movements.
- Werk Room: The area where drag performers get ready, often associated with RuPaul's Drag Race.
- Werk: A term of encouragement or praise, often used to commend someone on their appearance, performance, or effort.
- Wolf: A gay man who is somewhere between a twink and a bear, often lean and muscular with some body hair.
- Wolfpack: A group of gay men who hang out together, often with a sense of camaraderie and mutual support.
- Yass Queen: A term of enthusiastic approval or praise, often used in response to someone doing something fabulous.
- Zaddy: An attractive man who is older and has style, charisma, and sex appeal, often used within the gay community.
How to Create Your Own Gay Slang
Creating your own gay slang can be a fun and meaningful way to express yourself and connect with others. Here are some steps to guide you through the process:
Draw Inspiration from Existing Slang: Familiarize yourself with current gay slang. Understanding the structure, humor, and cultural references can provide a foundation for developing your own terms.
Reflect Your Own Experiences: Think about your personal experiences, community, and the aspects of gay culture that resonate most with you. Your slang should reflect your reality and the shared experiences of your circle.
Be Creative and Playful: Gay slang often involves wordplay, puns, and humor. Don’t be afraid to get creative with language. Experiment with sounds, rhymes, and double meanings to craft words that are catchy and fun.
Test with Friends: Share your new slang with friends and see how it resonates. Their feedback can help refine the terms and ensure they’re easily understood and appreciated.
Ensure Inclusivity: Make sure your slang is inclusive and respectful of the diverse experiences within the LGBTQ+ community. Avoid terms that could be seen as derogatory or exclusionary.
Contextual Relevance: Create slang that fits specific contexts or situations relevant to your life. Whether it’s a term for a unique social situation, a specific feeling, or a type of person, making it context-specific can enhance its utility and adoption.
Use and Promote: Start using your new slang in your conversations, social media, and other communications. The more you use it, the more it will catch on with your friends and community.
Evolve and Adapt: Language is always evolving, and so should your slang. Be open to adapting and evolving your terms as your experiences and the community change over time.
