Why I Get On Better With Women and Gay Men

Over the years, I've built a team made up mostly of women and gay men. And you might wonder, why is that? Here's the heartwarming tale behind my hiring choices.

A Special Spark

Every business owner has a certain spark they look for in their team. For me, that spark is often found in female and gay male candidates. They bring a unique energy, creativity, and perspective to the table. This isn't to say that others don't have their own sparks, but I've found that my business thrives with the energy of my current team.

Connecting with People Beyond Labels

Let me clarify something: My decisions in the past weren't about not valuing straight men or having an issue with any "alpha male" type. Everyone brings something unique to the table. For me, the choices I made were about the energy, creativity, and atmosphere I felt worked best for my specific business environment at the time.

Diversity in Its Own Way

Though it might sound unusual, the team I built was diverse in its own special way. Diversity is multifaceted. It can be about gender, sexuality, race, background, and so much more. In the context of my past decisions, the diversity I fostered was based on the energy and dynamics I felt were most fitting.

Why I Get Along Well with Women

Understanding and Listening

Often, women have a nurturing side. They tend to listen, and when someone listens to you, it makes you feel valued. Over time, I've found that deep conversations with women often lead to mutual understanding.

Straight men can sometimes be less open about discussing feelings or emotions, maybe because of societal norms that encourage them to be "tough" or not show vulnerability. This can sometimes make deep conversations a bit more challenging, as they might not always be as forthcoming or as receptive to more emotional subjects.

Shared Interests

From movies to hobbies, there are plenty of things I've found in common with my female friends. Sharing interests makes hanging out fun and relaxed.

There are many shared interests between me and my straight male friends, but sometimes our hobbies or tastes in movies and music might not align as closely. This isn't a rule, of course, but just an observation from personal experiences.

Supportive Nature

When things get tough, having women in my circle provides a comforting presence. Their support has been a real boost, especially during challenging times.

While straight men can definitely be supportive, there might be moments when they are less expressive about it. Perhaps due to cultural or societal reasons, they might not always verbalize their support or display it in ways that others might expect.

Communication

Generally, women are great communicators. Clear and open talks have strengthened many of my relationships with the women in my life.

Communication styles vary widely among people. However, I've noticed that some straight men might not be as open or clear about their feelings or thoughts. Again, societal norms might encourage them to be more reserved or stoic.

Why I Connect Easily with Gay Men

Relatable Experiences

Just like everyone, gay men have their own unique experiences and stories. Sharing and relating to these tales has brought us closer, making meaningful connections.

Everyone has unique life experiences. But sometimes, the challenges and joys faced by straight men might differ from those faced by others, leading to a slight gap in shared experiences.

Sense of Humor

I've shared countless laughs with my gay friends. There's often a light-hearted, humorous side that makes our time together joyous.

Humor is so diverse, and what one person finds funny, another might not. While I've had great laughs with straight male friends, there are times when our humor hasn't entirely aligned, leading to those playful "you had to be there" moments.

Open-Mindedness

Many gay men I know are open-minded and accepting. This welcoming attitude has made it easy for me to be myself around them.

Being open-minded is a personal trait and not strictly tied to one's sexuality. However, there have been moments when some straight men, perhaps due to their upbringing or environment, might have shown a bit less flexibility in their viewpoints.

Honesty

One trait I genuinely appreciate is honesty. Straight men, just like anyone else, value honesty. But sometimes, there might be hesitancy in being completely upfront, especially if it concerns feelings or topics they're not entirely comfortable with.

With my gay friends, there's a transparent and direct line of communication, which is always refreshing.

Alpha Males

We all meet different people in our lives. Some we click with instantly, and some take a little time. In my world, I've often found it a bit challenging to connect with alpha male types.

The Meeting Room Showdown

I was in a meeting a few years back with a classic alpha male type. He was tall, always dressed sharply, and had that voice that filled the room. During a discussion about a project, I presented an idea I thought was innovative and fresh. But before I could even finish, he took over, talking loudly over me and shifting the focus to his perspective.

It wasn't just about having a different opinion. It was the manner in which he'd overshadow others, making it hard for people like me to express their thoughts without feeling overpowered.

Gym Time Stories

My local gym is my happy place. It's where I go to unwind and get those happy hormones flowing. One day, I partnered up with a man for a doubles match in the badminton court. He was another alpha male type, took it upon himself to command every move, making decisions without consulting me, and often serving without signaling.

It was clear to me that it wasn’t just a game for him, but a subtle display of dominance. I enjoy a friendly match, but with this particular guy, it made me feel more like a one-man show than a team effort.

Weekend Barbecue Drama

My neighbor loves hosting barbecues. He's friendly but he's also a gladiator type. At one of his events, I tried setting up a music playlist. Halfway through, he stepped in, asserting that he had the "perfect" playlist for barbecues and proceeded to change the music.

It wasn’t a huge deal, but his need to steer every situation, even something as simple as music at a casual gathering, highlighted the challenges I faced when interacting with him.

Not About Disliking Straight Men

Let's set the record straight: it's not about disliking alpha males. Many of them are incredibly talented, driven, and have a ton of qualities to admire. It's more about the dynamics of interaction. Their strong presence can sometimes overshadow quieter voices, and for someone like me, it becomes a dance of trying to find a space to be heard and recognized.

Learning from Every Interaction

Every person we meet teaches us something. From my experiences with alpha males, I’ve learned patience, the value of standing up for my beliefs and finding ways to communicate that don't involve loud voices or dominating presences.

Life is full of diverse personalities, and each one adds a new flavor to our story. Even with the challenges, every interaction is a chance to grow and understand the world a little better.

Open to All

I believe in being open to all talents. If a straight man fits the bill, aligns with the company culture, and brings the needed skills and mindset, then why not? It's about the person, not the label.

Harmony and Connection

In my experience, having a team of women and gay men has created an environment of harmony and connection. We understand each other well, and there's a mutual respect that flows in our workspace. Everyone feels valued, and there's a strong sense of camaraderie that keeps us going, even on tough days.

Am I Biased? How About You?

1. Do you believe your own personality resonates more with women and gay men?

1. Yes
2. No
3. Unsure

2. Have you always had a closer rapport with women and gay men compared to straight men?

1. Always
2. Mostly
3. Sometimes
4. Rarely

3. Do you feel that your personal values align more with women and gay men in a professional setting?

1. Strongly Agree
2. Agree
3. Neutral
4. Disagree
5. Strongly Disagree

4. Is your preference for hiring based on past positive experiences with women and gay men?

1. Yes, entirely
2. Partially
3. Not at all

5. Would you say that you have more in common with women and gay men?

1. Definitely
2. Somewhat
3. Not really

6. Do you think that the dynamics of your workplace benefit from having mostly women and gay men?

1. Yes, greatly
2. Yes, to some extent
3. No difference

7. Are you open to hiring straight men if they fit the company culture and role requirements?

1. Always open
2. Depends on the role
3. Rarely open

8. Do you believe that having mainly women and gay men on your team sets your business apart from others?

1. Yes, positively
2. Yes, neutrally
3. No impact

9. Have clients or partners ever commented on the unique composition of your team?

1. Frequently
2. Occasionally
3. Never

10. Do you feel that the current composition of your team reflects the values and goals of your business?

1. Completely
2. Mostly
3. Not at all