When You Feel Like Cruising…

August 4, 2023

Cruising for men can be a fun and exciting way to meet new people, especially if you're open to exploring same-sex relationships. If this is something you'd like to do, there are plenty of options available. You could check out your local gay bars and clubs; attend LGBT events or mixers; join online dating sites specifically geared towards the LGBTQ community; or even try apps such as Grindr or Scruff.

Whatever option you choose, make sure that you stay safe by following the necessary precautions: use condoms when engaging in sexual activities, practice good communication with whoever you meet up with, and trust your instincts about any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable.

When You Feel Like Cruising

Your Age and Cruising

Cruising for men can be a fun and exciting way to meet new people, especially if you're open to exploring same-sex relationships.  Different age groups enjoy different cruising grounds. For example, some people in their 20s and 30s enjoy cruising online, while others may prefer going out in person to meet new people. 40s and over cruisers often enjoy cruising in their local area. What kind of things should they keep in mind?

20s:

  1. Safety: While exploring your sexuality, always prioritize your safety, both physical and emotional. Use protection to prevent sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
  2. Consent: Ensure mutual consent in every encounter. No one should feel pressured into any situation they're uncomfortable with.
  3. Open-mindedness: This is a great time to explore different types of relationships, understand what you want and what kind of person suits you best.
  4. Emotional Awareness: Be aware that your emotions may be heightened during this period. It's okay to experience strong feelings, but try to balance them with rational decision-making.

30s:

  1. Emotional Maturity: At this age, emotional intelligence often grows, helping to create more profound, meaningful relationships.
  2. Work-Life Balance: Many people are in the thick of their careers in their 30s. Ensure you balance your work life and personal life.
  3. Long-term Planning: Consider if you want a long-term partner, family, or children. Start planning for these life goals.
  4. Health Consciousness: Regular check-ups are essential to monitor for any health changes. Regular exercise and a balanced diet are also crucial.
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40s:

  1. Continued Health Awareness: Regular health screenings become more critical. Health concerns such as prostate health, cardiovascular health, etc., should be prioritized.
  2. Understanding Changes: Your body will start to experience changes. It's essential to understand and accept these changes.
  3. Invest in Relationships: Investing in relationships is essential, whether they are romantic or platonic. A supportive network is vital for mental health.
  4. Self-acceptance: Accept your journey and who you are. There's immense power in accepting and loving oneself.

50s:

  1. Health Prioritization: Besides regular check-ups, consider speaking to your doctor about preventative care. This can include colonoscopies and screenings for cardiovascular disease.
  2. Life Reflection: Reflect on what you've accomplished and what you still want to do. It's never too late to start a new hobby, career, or relationship.
  3. Deeper Connections: Focus on deeper, more meaningful connections rather than casual encounters. This doesn't mean you can't have fun, but depth can bring significant satisfaction.
  4. Mental Health: Pay attention to mental health as well. Feelings of loneliness, depression, and anxiety can increase with age. Reach out for help if you need it.

60s and beyond:

  1. Aging Gracefully: Accept the physical changes that come with age. Everyone ages, and it's a natural process.
  2. Community Support: Look for support in the LGBTQ+ community, particularly among those who are also aging and share similar experiences.
  3. Leisure and Relaxation: Retirement often brings more free time. Find hobbies, social groups, or volunteering opportunities to fill your time meaningfully.
  4. Health and Wellness: Continue prioritizing your health. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and medical check-ups are still essential.

Focus on Healthy Relationships

Focus on Healthy Relationships

If you're craving connection, focusing on building healthy, long-term relationships can be more fulfilling and safer than cruising. These relationships could be platonic, romantic, or sexual, but the emphasis is on mutual respect, communication, and understanding.

Imagine you're planting a garden. You could plant quick-growing flowers that bloom fast but don't last long, or you could plant perennials that take time to flourish but will keep coming back year after year.

Cruising is like the quick-blooming flower - it can be exciting and beautiful in the short term, but the feelings often don't last. On the other hand, building healthy relationships is like planting perennials. It may take some patience and nurturing, but the rewards can be long-lasting.

Practice Mindfulness and Self-care

Regular exercise, a healthy diet, and good sleep hygiene can all help manage your urge to cruise. Additionally, mindfulness exercises, such as meditation or yoga, can help manage stress and increase your awareness of your motivations and behavior.

Think of yourself as a finely-tuned car. Without regular maintenance, you might start to sputter and stall, right? Eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising is like keeping your engine in top shape - it ensures that you're ready to go full speed ahead whenever you need to. 

Now, mindfulness is like taking the scenic route. It allows you to slow down, appreciate the view, and really connect with how you're feeling. Mindfulness exercises like yoga or meditation help you tune into your body and mind, helping you understand why you might be feeling the urge to cruise and providing you with the tools to manage these feelings.

Dating Apps

Nowadays, there are various dating apps and websites that cater specifically to the LGBTQ+ community. They're tools to help you connect with other people from the comfort of your own home. These platforms can open up a world of potential partners or friends who you might not have the chance to meet otherwise.

But even online, the golden rules still apply: be respectful, ensure there is mutual consent, and always protect yourself both physically and emotionally. Just as you'd lock your front door at night, make sure to safeguard your wellbeing when engaging with others.

Younger age group (20s - 30s):

  1. Grindr: One of the most popular gay dating apps worldwide, Grindr is widely used among younger users. It allows for both casual hookups and long-term dating.
  2. Tinder: This app is popular among people of all sexual orientations. It tends to be favored by younger people due to its straightforward, swipe-based interface.
  3. OkCupid: Known for its detailed profile setup and diverse user base, OkCupid is great for those looking for more than a casual hookup.
  4. HER: Primarily designed for queer women, HER also provides a platform for non-binary and trans individuals. It has a younger user demographic and a social media-like interface.

Middle age group (40s - 50s):

  1. Match.com: This app tends to attract a slightly older demographic. It's useful for those looking for serious, long-term relationships.
  2. Zoosk: Zoosk is another dating site that attracts a middle-aged demographic. It integrates with social media and learns your preferences to match you with compatible people.
  3. Gaydar: Gaydar.net has a diverse user base, and it could potentially be useful for any age group. However, given that it's been around for a while, it may attract a slightly older demographic who started using it in its early days and have stuck with it.

Older age group (60s and beyond):

  1. OurTime: This is a dating site dedicated to singles over 50. While not exclusively for the LGBTQ+ community, it's LGBTQ+-friendly and used by many older gay men.
  2. SilverSingles: Similar to OurTime, SilverSingles caters to individuals over 50 and is welcoming to the LGBTQ+ community.

Be respectful, practice safe sex, and ensure mutual consent!

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About the author 

Joe Stammer

I'm an ex-narcotic with a stutter, dedicated to helping drug addicts on their path to recovery through writing. I offer empathy and guidance to those who are struggling, fostering hope and resilience in their pursuit of a substance-free life. My message to those struggling is simple - seek help, don't waste your life, and find true happiness.

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