How Never To Be In Love Again

by Joe Stammer // in Life

October 6, 2024

So, you've decided to take a different route when it comes to relationships and jiggy. Maybe you're over the drama, or you're just tired of getting emotionally entangled. Whatever your reasons are, it’s completely valid to explore casual sex without getting emotionally involved. The idea here isn't about shutting yourself off from romance forever - it's more about finding what works for you, at this particular moment. If you're looking for a way to be bang-bang without getting stuck in feelings, you might appreciate a few thoughts on how to manage casual encounters.

Below, I’m going to lay things out in a no-nonsense way. The idea is to keep things light, practical, and enjoyable without losing your cool or getting into deep emotional waters.

How Never To Be In Love Again

Keep Your Intentions Clear from the Start

Being upfront with your intentions is going to be a game-changer when it comes to casual encounters. There’s no room for mixed signals or second-guessing. If the arrangement is meant to be casual, make sure that’s communicated clearly, not just to the other person but also to yourself.

  • Say what you’re looking for right away, and don’t be vague. It sets the tone and prevents misunderstandings.
  • Be honest with yourself. If you’re starting to feel more than you’d like, it's time to reassess before things get messy.
  • Keep your mindset in check. Don’t romanticize your time together. Enjoy it for what it is, not what it could turn into.

When your intentions are clear, it’s easier to avoid awkward situations where one person thinks it's leading somewhere serious while the other is just having a good time. This way, you keep things on track without unnecessary drama.

Let Them Know Your No-No Zone

Boundaries are key when you’re aiming to stay detached. Knowing where your limits are will help keep the experience enjoyable and prevent complications. Don’t let them enter your personal zone both physically and emotionally.

  • Avoid sleepovers unless you’re comfortable with the added jiggy that comes from waking up next to someone.
  • Limit the number of times you see the person each week. Seeing each other too frequently could create a connection you weren’t planning on.
  • Keep conversations light and avoid talking about deeper personal topics that could shift the dynamic.

Sticking to these boundaries will help maintain the nature of the relationship, keeping it casual rather than accidentally crossing into a deeper emotional connection.

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Separate Physical Jiggy from Emotional Jiggy

The biggest challenge in casual sex is keeping the physical and emotional separated. It’s easy for one to bleed into the other if you're not careful. Make sure you compartmentalize your experiences. This doesn't mean you need to be cold or distant; it just means being mindful of the emotional energy you're putting in.

  • Avoid getting too physically comfortable—cuddling, holding hands, or prolonged affectionate touches. These can create a bond that’s difficult to detach from.
  • Keep conversations neutral and avoid sharing too many personal stories that build a deeper connection.
  • Take breaks between encounters to avoid the illusion of exclusivity or routine.

When you establish a clear line between lust and sensibility, you’re less likely to slip into a mindset that confuses the casual relationship for something deeper.

Don’t Overstay or Invite Extra Comfort

It’s one thing to get bang-bang with someone, and it’s another to linger after the moment has passed. Keeping things brief after the act can help maintain the casual nature of the relationship. Sticking around too long, or inviting someone to stay longer than necessary, increases the chance for unnecessary emotional connection.

  • Leave shortly after the encounter, avoiding cuddling or extended conversations.
  • Don’t make casual hangouts outside of your agreed-upon setting. Going to brunch or spending entire days together adds layers to the relationship you’re trying to avoid.
  • Keep your casual relationships separate from your everyday life. Don’t introduce them to friends or family.

The quicker you part ways after the interaction, the less likely things are to turn emotionally sticky.

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Have Multiple Partners if You're Comfortable

One way to stay detached is to avoid getting too focused on one person. If you’re interested in keeping things casual, consider seeing multiple people at once. This doesn’t mean you need to juggle too much or spread yourself thin, but variety helps avoid getting overly attached to any one person.

  • Keep things light with a few different people, so you don’t get too invested in just one.
  • Rotate partners and avoid routines, as routines could feel more like a relationship than a fling.
  • Don’t let any one person become your “go-to.” Keep things fresh and varied.

By seeing more than one person, you maintain the freedom of a casual arrangement and avoid falling into patterns that lead to emotional attachment.

Stay in Control of Your Emotions

It's easy to start feeling something after physical encounters, but there are ways to keep your emotions in check. You don't have to become detached or robotic, but keeping a sense of control over your feelings is helpful.

  • Keep in mind why you started the arrangement in the first place. Don’t let loneliness or emotional vulnerability steer you off course.
  • Focus on other parts of your life that bring you satisfaction, so you don’t end up relying on casual encounters for emotional fulfillment.
  • If things start to feel too deep, take a step back before acting on it. You can always slow things down or change the dynamic before it shifts into something else.

Being mindful of how your emotions might start to sway helps you avoid falling into situations you weren’t prepared for.

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Don’t Expect Too Much

Casual encounters work best when there’s no expectation of something more. If you start setting expectations for how things should play out, or what someone owes you, you’re setting yourself up for frustration.

  • Treat the encounters as they are, without expecting texts the next morning or deeper gestures of affection.
  • Be aware that the other person may be seeing other people, and that’s okay. It’s part of keeping things casual.
  • Avoid overanalyzing their actions or assuming that there’s a deeper meaning behind what they say or do.

Keeping your expectations low ensures that you won’t be disappointed or caught off guard by things that don’t go the way you had imagined.

Never To Be In Love Again

When it comes to casual sex, the name of the game is keeping things light, clear, and focused on the experience without expecting it to evolve into something else. By setting boundaries, separating the emotional from the physical, and managing expectations, you can enjoy jiggy without the complications of love and relationships.

Just be sure to stay aware of your emotions and keep checking in with yourself, making sure that the casual arrangement is still working for you. If it’s not, there's always the option to re-evaluate and shift gears when necessary.

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About the author 

Joe Stammer

I'm an ex-narcotic with a stutter, dedicated to helping drug addicts on their path to recovery through writing. I offer empathy and guidance to those who are struggling, fostering hope and resilience in their pursuit of a substance-free life. My message to those struggling is simple - seek help, don't waste your life, and find true happiness.

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