Alright, this isn’t the first time you’ve read about relationships and legal dangers. You’ve probably seen the usual advice: keep things quiet, move somewhere safe, or just avoid the whole situation. But those answers don’t really cut it, do they? Stick with me for just the next two minutes. What you’re about to read could completely change how you see this.

Love Isn’t the Most Important Thing - Safety Is

You’d think love conquers all, right? It doesn’t. Love is great, but it won’t keep you safe in a country that criminalizes your very existence. 

Safety matters more than anything. Instead of thinking about love as the priority, shift your focus to survival. You should be planning, strategizing, and figuring out how to avoid danger before anything else.

What Happens in Some Countries?

• Iran: Getting caught in a same-sex relationship here can mean a death sentence. Public hangings have happened, and even suspicion can land someone in serious trouble with the authorities or their own family.
• Northern Nigeria: Sharia law applies in some states, and same-sex acts can mean a death sentence by stoning. Even outside those areas, long prison sentences and public lashings are real risks.
• Saudi Arabia: The government isn’t shy about punishing people for same-sex relationships. The penalties range from flogging to imprisonment to execution, depending on how they decide to apply the law.
• Somalia: In areas controlled by extremist groups, execution is a real threat. In government-controlled parts, long prison sentences are the norm, and everyday life is full of risks due to deep-rooted societal intolerance.
• Yemen: Courts have the power to sentence men to death for same-sex acts. Women often face imprisonment, though honor killings by family members are also a serious danger.
• Afghanistan: Since the Taliban took over, queers face extreme persecution, including the possibility of execution. Reports indicate that individuals have been hunted down and killed.
• Brunei: A strict interpretation of Sharia law means that same-sex acts are punishable by stoning, though international pressure has led to some hesitancy in enforcement.
• Mauritania: Under Sharia law, men found guilty of same-sex acts face death by stoning, while women face prison sentences.
• Pakistan: Same-sex relationships are criminalized, and while the death penalty exists on paper, imprisonment and mob violence are more immediate threats.
• Qatar: While authorities rarely carry out extreme punishments, same-sex acts are illegal, and punishments include imprisonment and flogging. LGBTQ+ residents face significant discrimination.
• UAE: Same-sex relationships are illegal, with punishments ranging from fines and imprisonment to deportation for foreigners. Reports suggest private enforcement of morality laws can be arbitrary and harsh.
• Uganda: The country has passed some of the harshest anti-LGBTQ+ laws, with life imprisonment and even potential death sentences for so-called "aggravated homosexuality." Public support for these laws is strong, making daily life extremely dangerous for queers.

Think About the Risks to Your Partner

If your partner lives in or comes from one of these countries, their safety should be the top priority. Even talking about LGBTQ+ topics, join a relevant activist group (but make sure it's not a radical one), or being seen with openly gay people can put them in serious danger. Here are key things to think about:

• Legal Consequences: Could their sexual orientation be legally used against them?
• Family and Community Risks: Would their family support or punish them?
• Employment and Mobility: If they are discovered, would they lose their job, be expelled from school, or face travel restrictions?
• Digital Surveillance: Are local authorities or family members monitoring their communication?

Keep Yourself Safe

If you are in a relationship with someone from one of these places, your own safety matters too. Traveling to their country could put you at risk. Many of these nations enforce strict laws against promoting or engaging in LGBTQ+ activities, and foreign nationals have been arrested or deported in the past.

Help Your Partner Without Making Things Worse

Even if you don’t live there, your involvement in their life could put them in danger. Here’s how to be supportive while keeping risks low:

1. Use Secure Communication Channels: Encrypted messaging apps like Signal or ProtonMail are safer. Avoid discussing sensitive topics on social media or over the phone.
2. Keep Public Advocacy Low-Key: Speaking out about their situation could make them a target.
3. Find Safe Networks: If they feel comfortable, connect them with LGBTQ+ organizations that operate under the radar.
4. Look Into Legal Migration Options: Research asylum options in queer-friendly countries, as some offer refugee status to those persecuted for their sexual orientation.

Think About Relocation and Asylum

If staying in their home country isn’t safe, relocation might be the only real option. Seeking asylum is tough, though, and takes time. Here’s what to know:

• Who Qualifies: Countries like Canada, the UK, and the US grant asylum to those persecuted for their LGBTQ+ identity.
• Proving Persecution: Governments often require evidence, which is difficult to provide when secrecy is a survival tactic.
• The Costs: Moving across borders involves legal fees, paperwork, and emotional strain.

Groups like Rainbow Railroad and the UNHCR help LGBTQ+ asylum seekers with legal advice, temporary shelter, and relocation support.

Manage a Long-Distance Relationship Under These Conditions

Long-distance relationships are already hard. Throw in secrecy and legal risks, and things get even more complicated. Keeping the connection strong without making things unsafe takes effort:

• Traveling Safely: If you plan to meet, choose a country where both of you can move freely.
• Knowing the Laws: Make sure you understand visa rules, asylum policies, and marriage rights in potential safe havens.
• Taking Care of Mental Health: Living under these conditions is stressful. Professional counseling might help.

Thinking About the Future

The weight of all this may lead to some tough decisions. Some couples wait until relocation is possible, while others realize the risks are too high. Walking away from a relationship in these circumstances is devastating, but sometimes it’s the safest option. If that happens, finding ways to stay in touch without putting anyone at risk is worth considering.

Doing Something Bigger

Personal safety should always come first, but there are ways to support global queer rights too. If you're in a safe position, here’s how to make a difference:

• Support international LGBTQ+ organizations.
• Raise awareness in a way that doesn’t endanger anyone.
• Push for stronger asylum policies in your country.
• Encourage diplomatic pressure on oppressive governments.

Falling for You in a World That Wants to Tear Us Apart

Loving someone shouldn't be dangerous, but in some places, it is. If you’ve fallen for a man from a country where same-sex relationships are criminalized, protecting both of you takes patience and smart choices. Love doesn’t have to be reckless. Thinking ahead, knowing the risks, and planning carefully are the best ways to stay safe.