What’s Wrong With Dating a Bisexual Man?

Okay, so you don't think you can ever go out with a bisexual man, because he could always "turn to a woman" because he won't feel satisfied with a male partner? That's a misconception. Bisexuality means being attracted to more than one gender, but that doesn't imply an inability to be satisfied in a committed relationship.

If a bisexual man is in a relationship with a man, he’s made the choice to be with that man, just as he would in a relationship with a woman. It’s similar to how a straight man might find other women attractive but stays committed to one partner if he’s in a healthy, monogamous relationship. Being bisexual doesn’t automatically mean he needs to seek out both genders to feel fulfilled.

That said, you can think of a few pros and cons of seeing a bisexual man. Let's check these out.

Pro 1: Open-Mindedness

A bisexual man often has a more fluid view of attraction and relationships, which means he's likely to be less rigid in his expectations of you. This open-mindedness can be really refreshing in a relationship, especially if you’ve been in situations where the other person was more fixed in their ideas.

• If you’re someone who doesn’t fit neatly into traditional gender roles or societal expectations, a bisexual man might appreciate those qualities rather than feeling threatened by them.
• Conversations about sexuality and attraction are often more open, without taboos, without feeling discomfort.
• You may find that he’s more likely to accept and understand different ways of loving and expressing intimacy, which can make the relationship feel more fluid and adaptable to your needs and desires.

Having someone who approaches life with this level of openness can make the relationship feel less pressured. It’s like you’re both allowed to be who you are without having to justify your preferences all the time.

Pro 2: Diverse Experiences

A bisexual man’s experiences often span across different kinds of attractions, which means he’s been exposed to various relationships. This can lead to a broader perspective on love and partnership.

• He may have had relationships with both men and women, giving him a deeper understanding of the differences and similarities between them.
• If you’ve ever felt like your previous partners didn’t get your emotional filfilment as well as your physical satisfaction, this diversity in experiences may feel like a breath of fresh air.
• Conversations about past relationships aren’t limited to one gender, which can open the door for you to share your own experiences in a more relaxed way.

These varied experiences can make it feel like you’re dating someone who has a well-rounded view on how to connect with others, not just romantically but also emotionally. It brings a level of flexibility that you may not encounter with someone who has only ever dated one gender.

Pro 3: Less Rigid Expectations

In relationships with bisexual men, the traditional roles that are often expected in same-sex relationships sometimes feel less pronounced. There’s a flexibility that allows you both to express yourselves without feeling boxed into certain stereotypes.

• You may not face assumptions about who’s “the man” or “the woman” in the relationship, allowing for more equal partnership.
• The ability to talk openly about your relationship situations may be less fraught with preconceptions.
• You may find it easier to share responsibilities in the relationship, from emotional support to practical tasks, without the pressure of fulfilling a specific role.

When you’re with someone who doesn’t put much stock into rigid expectations, there’s more room for genuine connection. Instead of worrying about what each of you "should" be doing, you can just focus on what works best for both of you.

Pro 4: Emphasis on Emotional Connection

While attraction is part of any relationship, bisexual men often emphasize the emotional connection over physical attraction alone. This can create a space where your emotional bond takes center stage, rather than just the physical aspects of your relationship.

• When you have a disagreement, you may notice that discussions often center around feelings rather than accusations about other people.
• There’s often an understanding that emotional intimacy can be just as powerful as physical connection, which adds depth to your interactions.
• If you’ve felt like previous partners have been focused too much on the physical side of the relationship, this emphasis on emotions could feel comforting and reassuring.

Having this kind of connection allows you to focus on the relationship itself, rather than worrying too much about external factors. Emotional understanding can help you build a stronger bond based on trust and respect.

Pro 5: Better Exploration

Being with someone who has explored different aspects of their sexuality may allow for a deeper level of mutual exploration, in terms of both your relationship and personal growth.

• You may find that he's more open to trying new, different ways of being in the relationship.
• If you have desires that you haven’t fully explored, this could be a great opportunity to share them without fear of judgment.
• It may feel like there’s room for both of you to evolve together, whether that’s exploring new hobbies, experiences, or even emotional connections.

This mutual curiosity can keep the relationship exciting and help both of you learn more about yourselves as well as each other.

Con 1: Insecurity About Attraction

Being in a relationship with a bisexual man can sometimes trigger insecurities, especially if you start to wonder if you’re “enough” for him, knowing he’s attracted to more than one gender.

• You may find yourself worrying about whether he’s still attracted to you, even when there’s no real reason to.
• The thought of him being attracted to both men and women could make you question your place in his life.
• These insecurities may cause you to feel anxious during casual interactions with people of any gender.

It’s natural to feel insecure sometimes, but in a relationship with a bisexual man, these feelings might pop up more often if you aren’t sure where you stand. All the worries can weigh on you if not addressed openly.

Con 2: Biphobia and Stereotypes

Unfortunately, stereotypes about bisexuality can put extra pressure on a relationship. Biphobia, whether internalized or from the outside world, might create tension.

• You may hear people say things like, “Oh, he’ll leave you for a woman,” or “He’s just confused,” which can affect your sense of security in the relationship.
• You may even start to internalize these stereotypes yourself, questioning whether he’s fully committed to you.
• If he faces biphobia from friends, family, or society, it can add stress to your relationship, making it feel like you’re constantly defending your partner’s identity.

These external judgments can create cracks in what would otherwise be a strong relationship, making it harder to feel confident and supported as a couple.

Con 3: Pressure to Define the Relationship

In relationships with bisexual men, there’s sometimes a feeling of pressure to define things in ways that may not feel natural. You could find yourself constantly explaining or defending the relationship to others.

• If people in your life are unfamiliar with bisexuality, you may face questions like, “So, are you okay with him being bi?” which can feel invasive.
• There could be moments where it feels like the relationship has to be “proved” to outsiders, especially if they don’t understand bisexuality.
• This pressure to define what the relationship “means” could make you second-guess things that, in another context, wouldn’t even be an issue.

The constant need to justify your relationship can feel like an additional burden that’s hard to shake.

Con 4: External Judgments

In some social settings, your relationship may be scrutinized in ways you didn’t anticipate. People outside of your relationship may make ignorant comments or ask intrusive questions about your partner's bisexuality.

• Friends may make offhand comments about “picking a side,” which can be frustrating and disrespectful.
• You could encounter people who believe bisexuality doesn’t exist, creating awkward moments in group settings.
• Some friends may treat your relationship as “less serious” because they don’t believe a bisexual man can be fully committed.

Dealing with these judgments from people you care about adds a layer of stress to the relationship that’s often unnecessary and difficult to manage.

Con 5: Misunderstanding of Bisexual Identity

Even within the relationship, there may be moments when one of you misunderstand aspects of bisexual identity. This misunderstanding can create resentment.

• You might struggle with the idea that bisexuality doesn’t mean attraction to both genders equally at all times, which can lead to feelings of insecurity.
• There could be moments where you question his bisexuality simply because he’s with you, wondering if that part of his identity “goes away.”
• If you don’t fully accept his bisexuality, it could cause a rift, as he may feel like you’re dismissing a fundamental part of who he is.

Without fully appreciating the complexities of bisexual identity, misunderstandings and miscommunication might come up more often than they should, creating unnecessary tension.

When you're dating someone, their sexual orientation is just one of the many factors that shape who they are and how they relate to you. With that said, every relationship has its ups and downs. What matters most is how you navigate those moments with honesty and mutual respect. Relationships are always about the two people in them, no matter their sexual orientation.