The Bullying Psychology

by Joe Stammer // in Life

August 18, 2024

Bullying and harassment dig deep into people’s lives, affecting both the person doing the bullying and the one on the receiving end. It’s easy to think of bullying as just physical fights or mean words, but there’s a whole psychology at play here. Let’s break it down in a way that makes sense and covers the different forms of bullying, how it plays out, and the long-term effects it has on everyone involved.

The Bullying Psychology

Various Forms of Bullying and Harassment

So, let’s start with bullying. It’s not just about a schoolyard kid taking your lunch money anymore - it’s grown up, and it’s everywhere. Bullying is about power and control, where one person tries to dominate another, often in cruel or hurtful ways. The methods might differ, but the intention is usually the same: to make someone else feel small, scared, or worthless.

Types of Bullying

Bullying comes in a few different flavors, so let’s take a look at the most common ones:

  • Physical Bullying: This is the most obvious type. It’s the pushing, hitting, or any physical aggression aimed at another person. Think of it as the classic "give me your lunch money" scenario, but it’s not just kids - adults do it too, just in different ways.
  • Verbal Bullying: This involves name-calling, insults, or any derogatory language intended to hurt someone. It’s the snide comments, the mocking, or the constant put-downs that chip away at someone’s self-esteem.
  • Social Bullying: Also known as relational bullying, this is more subtle. It’s when someone spreads rumors, excludes others, or manipulates social situations to isolate or harm another person. It’s the mean girl stuff but again, adults are just as guilty - office cliques, anyone?
  • Cyberbullying: With the rise of social media, bullying has moved online. This type involves harassing someone via texts, social media, or any digital platform. It’s the nasty comments, the trolling, or the unwanted messages that follow someone everywhere because the internet never sleeps.

Harassment: What Makes It Different?

Now, while harassment is closely related to bullying, there’s a slight twist. Harassment usually involves repeated behavior that targets someone based on a specific characteristic - like their gender, race, religion, or sexual orientation. It’s about prejudice and discrimination, wrapped up in the same hostile behavior we see in bullying, but often with a legal line crossed.

  • Sexual Harassment: This involves unwanted sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, or other verbal or physical harassment of a sexual nature. It doesn’t have to be physical - comments, jokes, and innuendos count too.
  • Racial Harassment: Targeting someone because of their race or ethnicity falls into this category. This could be slurs, derogatory comments, or even exclusion based on racial prejudices.
  • Workplace Harassment: This is when bullying behaviors show up at work, usually involving abuse of power. It could be a boss who constantly belittles an employee or a coworker who spreads rumors, making the workplace feel toxic.

So, the main difference? Bullying is about personal power and control in a more general sense, while harassment has a specific focus, often tied to discrimination, and it frequently carries more legal weight.

The Effects of Bullying and Harassment

The Effects of Bullying and Harassment

Alright, let’s talk about what all this does to a person. Spoiler: It’s not good. Bullying and harassment leave marks that go way beyond the obvious bruises or hurt feelings - they dig deep into someone’s mental and emotional state, and the effects can last a lifetime.

The Immediate Impact

Right away, bullying and harassment throw people into a tailspin. It’s not just a bad day at work or school; it’s like a dark cloud that follows them around. Here’s what usually happens:

  • Stress and Anxiety: The constant threat of being targeted makes people jumpy, stressed, and anxious. It’s that feeling in the pit of your stomach when you’re walking into a room and you know someone’s going to make you feel like crap.
  • Lowered Self-Esteem: All those nasty comments and actions start to wear down on a person’s self-worth. They begin to believe the lies - that they’re not good enough, not smart enough, or not worth being treated with respect.
  • Fear and Isolation: When bullying or harassment is ongoing, people start to withdraw. They avoid certain places, people, or situations just to keep themselves safe, which only makes them feel more alone.

Long-Term Consequences

The long-term effects are where things get really heavy. The scars from bullying and harassment don’t just go away when the behavior stops; they linger, sometimes for years.

  • Depression: It’s common for people who’ve been bullied or harassed to fall into depression. The constant negativity and lack of support take their toll, leading to feelings of hopelessness and deep sadness.
  • PTSD: Yes, bullying and harassment can be traumatic enough to cause Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. This means flashbacks, nightmares, and an ongoing sense of fear, even when the bully is long gone.
  • Self-Harm and Suicidal Thoughts: Sadly, some people resort to self-harm or even contemplate suicide as a way to cope with the pain. The sense of hopelessness and isolation becomes so overwhelming that they see no other way out.
  • Difficulty Trusting Others: After being bullied or harassed, trusting others can become a challenge. People might build walls around themselves, making it hard to form new relationships or open up to others.

The Negative Impact

The effects don’t just stay with the victim - they spread outwards, affecting everyone around them:

  • Family Tension: Watching a loved one go through bullying or harassment is tough, and it often causes strain in family relationships. Parents, siblings, or spouses might feel helpless or unsure how to support the person going through it.
  • Workplace Productivity: In cases of workplace harassment, the entire environment can suffer. When someone is being targeted, it’s not just their work that slips - everyone around them feels the tension, leading to lower morale and productivity.
  • Social  Impact: Among friends or classmates, bullying can create divisions and conflicts, where others feel pressured to take sides or stay silent, even when they know what’s happening is wrong.
Bully Resolution

Why It’s So Hard to Break Free

One of the toughest things about bullying and harassment is how they trap people in a cycle. Once someone starts getting bullied or harassed, it can feel almost impossible to escape, and here’s why:

Power and Control

Bullies and harassers thrive on power. They pick targets they see as vulnerable, and once they’ve got that power, they don’t want to let go. This creates a cycle where the victim feels powerless to stop it, and the bully keeps going because they’re getting what they want - whether it’s attention, control, or just the thrill of hurting someone.

Shame and Silence

There’s also a lot of shame involved. Victims often feel embarrassed or even blame themselves for what’s happening, which keeps them silent. They don’t want to be seen as weak or as a “snitch,” so they endure the abuse rather than speak up.

  • Guilt: Many people feel guilty for “letting” the bullying happen, thinking they should have fought back or done something differently.
  • Fear of Retaliation: Reporting bullying or harassment isn’t easy, especially when there’s a fear of making things worse. The thought of retaliation - whether it’s more intense bullying, job loss, or social backlash - often keeps people from seeking help.

Lack of Support

Finally, it’s about support - or the lack of it. When people don’t have strong support systems, whether at home, school, or work, they’re more vulnerable to bullying and harassment. They feel alone in their struggle, which makes it even harder to break free from the cycle.

  • Inadequate Response: Sometimes, when bullying or harassment is reported, the response from authorities - like teachers, HR departments, or even law enforcement - isn’t enough. This only reinforces the victim’s sense of powerlessness.
  • Social Isolation: If a person is already isolated, they might feel like there’s no one to turn to, no one who would understand or help.

Wrapping It Up

Bullying and harassment are more than just unpleasant experiences - they’re deep, damaging behaviors that leave lasting effects on everyone involved. From the various forms they take to the long-term consequences, it’s clear these aren’t issues that just go away on their own.

If you ever find yourself or someone you know caught in this cycle, remember that it’s not something to face alone. There’s no easy way out, but knowing what you’re up against is a start. And sometimes, just having someone to talk to - someone who gets it - makes all the difference.

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About the author 

Joe Stammer

I'm an ex-narcotic with a stutter, dedicated to helping drug addicts on their path to recovery through writing. I offer empathy and guidance to those who are struggling, fostering hope and resilience in their pursuit of a substance-free life. My message to those struggling is simple - seek help, don't waste your life, and find true happiness.

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