Etiquette rules have always played a big part in our social interactions. Over time, many old rules have faded away, making room for new social norms. Here, we explore 20 old etiquette rules that guided past generations.
1. Men Paying For Dates
The tradition of men paying for dates goes back many years. It was thought that since men were the breadwinners, they should pay for outings too. But as women joined the workforce and started earning too, this rule began to change.
Now, it's common for couples to split the bill or take turns paying. For example, on a first date, one person might pay for dinner, and the other might pay for the movie tickets afterwards. This way, the cost of dating becomes fair and balanced.
2. Expecting Heteronormative Behavior
Historically, social norms expected heteronormative behavior and appearance from individuals. Modern etiquette appreciates a variety of gender expressions and recognizes that people's identities might not fit traditional molds.
3. Women Not Wearing Trousers
In the past, women were expected to wear dresses or skirts only. Trousers were considered to be only for men. This idea changed slowly as famous women started wearing trousers in public. Now, trousers are a common choice for women, offering comfort and style.
Whether going to work or attending a casual event, women can now choose from a variety of clothing options. An example is a woman wearing a business suit with trousers to a corporate meeting, showing that fashion and etiquette have evolved.
4. Hat Removal Indoors
Men were expected to remove their hats when they came indoors. This was a sign of respect and good manners. But as styles and social rules have changed, this rule has relaxed, especially in casual settings. For instance, it might be acceptable for someone to keep their baseball cap on in a casual restaurant or at a friend's house.
However, in a more formal setting or during special occasions, some people still follow the tradition of removing their hats as a sign of respect.
5. Addressing Unmarried Women as “Miss”
Calling an unmarried woman "Miss" was once the norm, while married women were addressed as "Mrs." However, to avoid making assumptions about marital status, the neutral title "Ms." has become more widely used.
Now, it's more respectful to use "Ms." when addressing a woman, unless she has specified a preferred title. For example, in a professional setting, using “Ms.” followed by the last name is a polite and modern way to address women.
6. Always Writing Handwritten Thank-You Notes
Writing thank-you notes by hand - not by typing - was a common practice to show appreciation or gratitude.
However, with the advent of technology, this tradition has evolved. Now, it's okay to send an email or a text message to say thanks. For instance, after a job interview, sending a thank-you email to the interviewer is a modern way to show appreciation and maintain a connection.
7. Children Should Be Seen And Not Heard
This old saying was popular when adults wanted to have conversations without interruptions from children. It meant that children should stay quiet among adults.
Today, we value the thoughts and feelings of children more. We encourage them to express themselves and join in conversations. For example, at family gatherings, children are often included in discussions and their opinions are valued.
8. Not Talking About Money
In the past, talking about money was seen as rude or uncomfortable. People kept their earnings and financial matters private.
Today, discussing money in the right setting is less of a taboo. Friends may share tips on saving money, or coworkers might discuss salaries to ensure fair pay. An example is a group of friends sharing budgeting tips or discussing the cost of common expenses to help each other make informed financial decisions.
9. Waiting For A Formal Introduction
It was once considered polite to wait for a formal introduction before speaking to someone new. This made social interactions very structured.
Now, it’s common to introduce oneself in social settings without waiting. For instance, at a social gathering, people often walk up to others, extend a hand, and introduce themselves without waiting for someone else to do the introductions.
10. The Rule Of Who Eats First
Traditionally, no one would start eating until the head of the household—often the eldest male—took the first bite. This showed respect for the family hierarchy.
Today, this rule is not strictly followed, especially in more casual or informal settings. In many homes, once everyone is seated and served, people begin eating together. At a dinner party, for example, the host might insist that everyone start eating as soon as they are served, making the meal a more communal and relaxed experience.
11. Keeping Your Opinions To Yourself
In the past, expressing personal opinions, especially on sensitive or controversial topics, was often seen as impolite. People were expected to keep their opinions to themselves to maintain a peaceful atmosphere.
Now, sharing personal viewpoints, when done respectfully, is a part of healthy discussions. For instance, in a community meeting, people might share different ideas about a local project, leading to a well-rounded understanding of the issue.
12. Men Opening Doors For Women
It was a common courtesy for men to open doors for women as a sign of respect and chivalry. However, now holding the door open is seen as a polite gesture by anyone, regardless of gender.
For example, at a store, whoever reaches the door first might hold it open for others, promoting a courteous interaction among all people.
13. The Obligation To Bring A Hostess Gift
Bringing a gift for the host or hostess was once a standard practice when invited to someone's home. It was a way to show appreciation for the invitation. Although it’s still a kind gesture, it’s not as obligatory as it once was.
Nowadays, a guest might ask the host if they can bring something for the event, like a dish to share, which takes off the pressure of selecting a personal gift.
14. Requiring A Chaperone
In older times, young unmarried women were often accompanied by a chaperone to social events to uphold their reputations. Today, this practice is seen as outdated and restrictive.
Now, women and men interact freely in social settings without the need for a third-party supervisor. For example, young people go on dates or attend events together without a chaperone, demonstrating a shift towards personal freedom and trust.
15. Avoiding “Unladylike” Topics
There were certain topics considered inappropriate or "unladylike" for women to discuss, especially in mixed company. These might include politics, finances, or personal matters.
However, modern conversations don’t have such limitations, and all topics are open for discussion among men and women alike. For instance, at a dinner party, women might lead a discussion on current events or financial matters, reflecting the modern acceptance of open dialogue for everyone.
16. Using Only Formal Titles
In the past, using formal titles like Mr., Mrs., or Dr. was common. This was seen as a sign of respect. Now, many settings are more relaxed.
People often use first names even in professional environments. For example, a manager might ask employees to call them by their first name to create a friendly, open work atmosphere.
17. Proper Ladies Don’t Make Phone Calls
Old rules suggested that it wasn’t proper for ladies to make phone calls to gentlemen. This was seen as too forward.
Today, anyone can call anyone else, whether for personal or professional reasons. For example, in modern dating, both parties feel free to call or text each other without worry about breaking social norms.
18. Avoiding Elbows On The Table
Placing elbows on the dining table was once seen as bad manners. This rule was enforced to promote good posture and polite eating habits.
However, in casual dining settings, this rule is often overlooked. Now, at a casual dinner, people might rest their elbows on the table while chatting, making the atmosphere relaxed and comfortable.
19. Always Wearing Gloves In Public
Women were once expected to wear gloves in public to maintain a refined appearance. This was especially true when attending social events.
The modern view is much different. Wearing gloves is now a personal choice and not a requirement for appearing well-mannered. For example, at a modern-day wedding, guests are not expected to wear gloves unless they choose to.
20. Sticking To Gender-Specific Careers
Traditionally, certain careers were seen as suitable only for men or women. For example, nursing and teaching were often categorized as women's professions, while careers in engineering or law were often filled by men.
Today, anyone can pursue a career in any field they are passionate about. For instance, many men are now proud to work as nurses, and many women excel as engineers. This shift reflects a more equal society where career choices are based on interest and ability, not gender.
Using titles like “chairman” or addressing a group as “gentlemen” was common. Now, gender-neutral language like “chairperson” or “everyone” is preferred to be inclusive of all genders.
